Season Three

Reefer Madness

Donna: Okay, what are you writing? 'Jackie and Steven Hyde' 'Mrs. Jackie Hyde' 'Dr. and Mrs. Steve Hyde'? All right, what's going on?
Jackie: Okay, Donna? Steven and I? are in love!
Donna: Umm. You do know that he once compared you to a tick, right?
Jackie: Oh, really, well, if he thinks I'm such a tick then why'd he tell the cops the bag was his, when it was actually mine?
Donna: Are you telling me that bag was yours?
Jackie: Yeah, and he went to jail for it. Isn't that fabulous?
Donna: Oh my GOD! you TICK! You're the reason this whole mess happened.
Jackie: Oh, Donna, stop! My head is 'wooooo'!

Donna: Jackie, you have to tell the Formans what happened. Do you know that Red is kicking Hyde out?
Jackie: Oh my God! No, no, Donna, that's perfect! When Hyde is on the streets, he'll have to turn to me. And as I care for him, and buy him stuff, his love for me will grow!
Donna: Oh My God. Fine, I'm telling.
Jackie: NO! No-nono! You cannot ruin this for me. MOOSE!
Donna: Don't tell me what to do, midget!
Jackie: NO!!!!!! Jackie attacks Donna from behind.

Too Old to Trick or Treat, Too young to Die

Donna: No, Eric, I thought that maybe there was something we could dotogether.
Eric: Pft, I doubt it.
Kelso: OOO, BURN!
Donna: Wait! WHAT?!
Eric: No! No, no, I didn't mean it like that.
Jackie: Nope, sorry Eric. That was a burn. What's burnt it burnt, and what's burntis Donna.

Donna: I think Eric thinks I'm boring. Do you think I'm boring?
Jackie: Oh, Donnayeah a little. But, it's not like it's a bad thing! The world needs people like you. You're the gray that makes the color, me, POP!

Donna: Jackie! I'm not boring! Eric and I do lots of fun stuff together! We go to movies-
Jackie: Every Friday night, early show.
Donna: What? I get sleepy!

Roller Disco

Donna: Kelso? Who cares? It's a stupid roller disco thing.
Kelso: Yeah, I guess you're right. It's silly for me to be jealous. You're a good friend, Donna.
Donna: Yeah, cause when you think about it, I mean, what does Fez have going for him except an incredibly sexy accent and an extremely hot body.
Kelso: Okay, now you're being a bad friend, Donna.
Donna: I mean, come to think of it, if Fez helps Jackie win a roller disco she might just rip his clothes off and have sex with him right there on the rink, that's how hot he is!
Kelso: BAD FRIEND, DONNA! BAD FRIEND!

Donna: Oh My GOD! I think Jackie and Fez are next! Look there they are!
Kelso: Hey, the next contestants are cheaters! The brown guy is a robot!
Donna: OH my GOD, shut UP!

Donna: This is so cool! Oh my God, they're amazing!
Kelso: OH! Didja that? Fez just tripped.
Donna: No, he didn't.
Kelso: The foreign guy tripped! That's a deduction right there! You're gonna lose!

Donna: Oh My God! You guys were so great!
Jackie: I know, I know! And even when I almost tripped, my natural grace totally saved us!

Donna: Come on, Kelso. Look at the bright side.
Kelso: What's the bright side?
Donna: The bright side is, there isn't one. Fez has Jackie and you have to squeeze out that marble.

Eric's Panties

Donna: He usually gives me a kiss goodbye.
Jackie: And to be honest, it kinda grosses me out.

Donna: Wait, Jackie, should I be worried that he's spending so much time with Shelly?
Jackie: Normally I would say yes, but Eric would never cheat on you! I mean, all guys cheat, but I never really thought of Eric as a guy. Yeah, he's like a really masculine girl.
Donna: Uh huh?
Jackie: Uh huh! Kinda like you!

Donna: Look, he's already home! I can't believe I was so suspicious. He's such a good guy. I'm gonna write him a note. A little'I love you.'
Jackie: Michael once wrote me a sexy note. But he doesn't really know how to spellso I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do to him.

Donna: OH MY GOD!
Jackie: Donna! You should not leave your panties in your boyfriend's car!
Donna: I didn't!
Jackie: Oh. Ohhh! OHHH!

Jackie Bags Hyde

Jackie: Donna, never have 17 syllables hurt me so much. Why would he want to hurt me like that?
Donna: Because you're stalking him, Jackie.
Jackie: No, really Donna.
Donna: Jackie, really.

Donna: You are to Hyde what Fez is to you.
Jackie: That's ridiculous! Fez and I will never happen. Oh god. Steven and I will never happen!
Donna: Jackie, it's all right. You just gotta get over this. Be strong.
Jackie: You're right Donna, you're right. Oh, I wish my Daddy could buy him for me.

Jackie: -and then Steven said, "That's cool," but not like "cool," more like he's jealous!
Donna: Jackie, or he just thinks it's cool.
Jackie: Donna, it is so romantic. Just like West Side Story. Yeah, but without the dancing and the Puerto Ricans. Wait, is Fez Puerto Rican?

Ice Shack

coming soon

Fez Gets the Girl

coming soon

Hyde's Christnas Rager

coming soon

Dine & Dash

Jackie: Please. I'm not immature like those idiots.
Donna: She IS immature like those idiots!

Donna's Panties

Donna: Well, he's just not a good boyfriend.
Jackie: You should dump him, and then we can move to Dallas and be weather girls.

Donna: What's up with Eric's head, anyway? It's completely out of proportion to that skinny body. He's like a blow pop!
Jackie: I bet Michael's gonna want me to feel sorry for him, but I'm going to be all 'Awwww. BITE IT, CASANOVA!'

Donna: Doesn't Eric look like a blow pop?
Kelso: Uh, yeah, I guess. Listen, Jackie. Can we go somewhere and talk?
Jackie: Look, anything you have to say to me, you can say in front of Donna.

Donna: Jackie, are you okay?
Jackie: Sure. Great! I'm just... sitting here alone on Valentine's Day.
Donna: I'm here.
Jackie: Yeah, why are you here? You should be with the one you love! And you love Eric... for some reason.
Donna: Shut up! There's a lot of reasons! He's not a blow pop. He's a sweetie pie.
Jackie: You should be with him. Look take it from someone who has loved, and lost. Whatever he did isn't worth being alone on this holiest of days.
Donna: Jackie are you actually thinking of me instead of yourself?
Jackie: Yeah! God, I have had way too much sugar.

Who Wants It More

Donna: Jackie, that's really annoying.
Jackie: Donna, is there something you need to talk about?
Donna: Can you keep a secret.
Jackie: Not really.

Donna: I'm holding out on Eric.
Jackie: Donna! That's great! So how long has it been.
Donna: Three of the longest days of my life. Maybe I should just cave.
Jackie: NO! When he caves, you own him.
Donna: I think I want it more than Eric.
Jackie: Ewww. Why? Donna, sex is how we control men. If they ever find out we want it too, we'll never get jewelry again.

Kitty's Birthday (That's Today?!)

Jackie: Hey, Donna! Wanna go to the mall? ReRun from What's Happening is opening up the new Dairy Queen!
Donna: Actually, Jackie, as fun as that sounds, um... No.

Jackie: Yeah, you know the makeup, shopping, braiding each others hair! You are like the girlfriend I never had!
Kelso: Oh, well, thanks, Jackie! I... wait... girlfriend?
Jackie: Yeah, I mean, Donna's nice and everything, but she kinda dresses like a trucker.

The Trials Of M. Kelso

Jackie: Michael's so sweet
Donna: Uh-oh.
Jackie: He's just so-
Donna: NO!
Jackie: Do you think Michael and I-
Donna: Don't even say it, Jackie!
Jackie: I think that maybe-
Donna: I'll kill myself, I swear to GOD!

Jackie: He and I should get back together.
Donna: Jackie, do you remember how Kelso cheated, and hurt you, and lied to you?
Jackie: Listen to yourself, Donna. Cheat-ED, hurt-ED, Lied-Duh! It's all anicent history. When we looked into each other's eyes, I know we're both thinking about the same thing.
Donna: Your hair?
Jackie: No, that we're meant to be together. Look, I need to know that he's really changed. I need to test him somehow.
Donna: I agree.
Jackie: You do?
Donna: Absolutely. If you get back with Kelso, you better have him tested.

Jackie: Okay, I want to see if Micheal's ready to be in a healthy adult relationship. So, I've come up with five psychological tests.
Donna: Damn, Jackie! He can't even spell psychological.

Jackie: Donna and I were discussing our careers. I'm going into high end cosmetics, and Donna thinks she'll make a great lumberjack.
Donna: STOP TELLING PEOPLE THAT!

Jackie: This next test is about consideration. I want to see if he chooses my interests over his.
Donna: This is going to be so funny.

Kelso: Dallas COWBOY CHEERLEADERS!
Donna: See? Funny.

Eric's Naughty No-No

Jackie: He did?! What the heck for?!
Donna: I don't know! In, like, what universe is that sexy?
Jackie: Only one! The skinny pervert universe.

Donna: It was just so strange. I mean, usually he just sticks to, like, 2 or 3 key moves.
Jackie: You know, I bet it's because of that nudie flick they saw yesterday.
Donna: They went to a x-rated movie?
Jackie: Didn't Eric tell you?
Donna: No. God, why would Eric go see something like that? I mean, is our sex life so boring that he has to sneak around and watch other people do it?
Jackie: Donna, of course it is. It's ok.

Holy Craps

Donna: Hyde, Caroline is not a psycho. You just don't get women. We have emotions. We're ruled by the moon and the tides.
Jackie: And pretty clothes.

Caroline: You guys are so much fun to hang out with!
Jackie: Yeah, we really are!

Jackie: All right, all right, enough small talk. So tell me, is Fez like, an amazing kisser?
Caroline: Oh, Jackie, don't make me blush.
Donna: She's only asking you';cause when she kissed him, he did this thing with his tongue.
Caroline: You kissed Fez?
Jackie: Oh my god, it was nothing. He had this stupid crush on me.
Caroline:SHHHHHUUUUTTTTTT UUUUUPPPP! If either of you ever touch my boyfriend, I will hunt you down like animals. Understand?
Donna:You're kidding, right?
Caroline: You're kidding, right? I will scratch your big dumb eyes out. Got it?
Donna: Oh my god!
Jackie: I know! Her nails are beautiful!

Caroline: Oh, really? Well did they shop lift $30 worth of indelible markers and write your name over every inch of their room?! Every inch! Did they?
Fez: Ummdid you guys do that?
Jackie and Donna: NO!
Fez: Well, uh, there you have it. Um, Caroline, I have to break up with you?
Caroline: Why? And don't say it's because I'm crazy, because I'm not crazy.
Fez: Oh, haha, oh no, oh, haha, of course not. It's just';cause, it's just um, Donna and I are in love.
Caroline: WHAT?!
Donna: Oh my god!
Jackie: EWWWW!

Eric's Drunken Tatoo

Jackie: He said, "Jackie this isn't going to work." What if Michael secretly wants to break up with me? I need to get him to sleep again! What if his subconscious mind known something his conscious mind doesn't?!
Donna: Well, let's hope so Jackie.
Jackie: Well, at least he's not as boring as Eric!

Donna: We're not talking about Eric; we're talking about Kelso. Untrustworthy, two-timing, sneaks around behind your back and reads your journal Kelso!
Jackie: Okay, Donna, I'm sensing we're not talking about me and Michael anymore. Bye! OWW! Don't pinch me, you lumberjack!

Donna: Jackie, I think Eric read my private journal!
Jackie: Oh, is this about the dream where you wished Eric was Steven Tyler?

Backstage Pass

coming soon

Canadian Road Trip

coming soon

The Promise Ring

Donna: Can you believe it? Isn't it pretty?
Jackie: Yeah. I really need to introduce you to my good friend nail polish. (Donna rolls her eyes playfully at Jackie.) And, a promise ring is sacred, Donna. Why aren't you wearing it on your left ring finger?
Donna: I don't know.';Cause I like it on this finger. What's the difference?
Jackie: Donna. If you don't wear your promise ring on your left ring finger it totally cancels out the promise that you'll be together forever.
onna: Wait, that's what I promised?

Jackie: Donna, did you hear that? Michael's giving me a promise ring.
Donna: Yeah, that's great.
Jackie: I wonder how he's gonna give it to me. I hope he hides it in food. I told him if he ever gives me something nice, he should put it in food. It's classy.