Season Four

Eric's Depression

coming soon

Pinciotti vs Forman

Donna: What? You're like kicking me out? Wow. okay then, Bye!
Jackie: Well, if you're kicking her out, then you're kicking me out!
Eric: No, Jackie, No - I mean- BYE!

Donna: It's just not fair! He doesn't like get my friends just because he has some crappy ass basement!
Jackie: Right! You helped make that basement what it is today!
Donna: Right! No one would even go over there before me. It smelled like feet.
Jackie: Donna, you have to fight back. Kay? When a couple splits the woman deserves her fair share of the life she helped build.
Donna: How much is that?
Jackie: All of it! Donna, it's the law!
Donna: You know, normally that statement would really offened me. But now that I'm single, and pissed? You're making a lot of sense.

Donna: We got cable tv at my house. Which we all know has the potential for flashes of nudity. NUDITY!
Jackie: Cable?! Oh, you are SO gonna win this break up!

Jackie: Well, look, I think it's stupid to have to go day-by-day, why doesn't Donna just get us on the weekends?

Hyde Gets a Girl

coming soon

Bye-Bye Basement

Donna: I mean, I don't know what Eric's problem is. I wasn't being a bitch, was I?
Jackie: Oh, Donna. I know from bitch, and yes, yes you were. But I feel much closer to you now.

Donna: Oh my God, you morons might be right. Why do I have these stupid feelings left over? I mean, I just want to be friends with him now.
Jackie: What a child.

The Relapse

coming soon

Donna's Story

coming soon

The Forgotten Son

coming soon

Red and Stacey

coming soon

Third Wheel

coming soon

Jackie Says Cheese

Donna: You guys, the funniest thing just happened to Jackie.
Jackie: Michael, the most horrible thing just happened to me.

Jackie: Now, I have to decide between you and money.
Eric: Wow. It's like Sophie's Choice for Morons.
Donna: Hey! Let's take a poll! Who thinks Sophie should keep Kelso? The money?
Jackie: Guys, this isn't a joke!
Hyde: But it's funny like a joke.

Donna: Hey, you know who's an actual girl with boobs and stuff?
Jackie: Oh, Donna! you don't have to get a job just for me.
Donna: I was talking about you, pimple chin.

Jackie: My, God, this job is awful!
Donna: Are you sweating? Is work making you sweat?
Jackie: No. I'm glistening. It's glisten!

Jackie: Money doesn't grow on trees! ... Money DOESN'T GROW ON TREES! You know, I think having a job is changing me! I mean, think about it. A whole new me.
Donna and Kelso: That'd be great!

Eric's Hot Cousin

coming soon

Tornado Prom

Jackie: Maybe Donna was right. Maybe being popular isn't as important as being nice to people. I mean, I know that sounds wrong, but anything's possible.

Donna: Jackie?! What the hell?!
Eric: She totally made you a witch, that is so awesome!
Donna: She made you a flying monkey!
Eric: What? Oh crap.
Donna: Let's kick her ass!

Donna Dates a Kelso

Jackie: Look at him! Donna, you have to start dating or your going to look pathetic, and I'm going to look pathetic for being seen with you! I know! I'll set you up.
Donna: Uhh... Uh-Uh.
Jackie: Okay, if you don't want to do this, just say so.
Donna: I don't want to do this.
Jackie: Oh, you don't know what you want.

Donna: I don't know why I let you set me up with Kasey Kelso. From what I remember he's like, a Kelso!
Jackie: OOH! He's here! Come on, try and look pretty!
Donna: That's it? That's all I get is a honk? What kind of a jerk won't even come to the door?

Kelso's Career

Jackie: Oh my god, Casey Kelso's here.
Donna: What? Oh my god, he is so fine!
Jackie: You know, if you marry Casey and I marry Michael, we could be like sisters! Yay! Go talk to him!
Donna: Oh, no.
Jackie: I wanna go baby shopping with you, now go!
Donna: Alright, shut up.

Donna: He's gonna call me!
Jackie: You gave him your number?
Donna: Of course I didn't! Dammit!
Jackie: Oh, that's okay. Kelso's never called. They're like dogs: they're cute, but they can't work a phone.

Leo Loves Kitty

coming soon

Class Picture

Jackie: No, Michael. Your quote has to be meaningful, so you can remember the good time when you're like, thirty, with no reason left to live.
Donna: Okay, hidden in Jackie's extremly disturbing thought is a grain of truth. We need a really good quote this year.
Jackie: Well, all the best quotes are about the things that means alot to you, like for example me. My hair. Or my Personality. Or the sparkle I bring to your dull, grey, lives.

Donna: Hey, you wanna know something that is funnier than Eric's zit? The day I met Jackie.

Young Jackie: Hey, Donna. We haven't met before. I guess because I'm richer than you.
Young Donna: Hey Jackie.
Donna throws a basketball at Jackie, it hits her in the head.
Jackie: Oww! That hurt you lumberjack.

Donna: Whatever. Look, all I know is there gotta be a some good quote off Jackie getting hit in the head. Like, 'Awesome, Jackie got hit in the head!'
Jackie: No, no no. That was a stupid story.

Prank Day

Jackie: If you could be the princess in any country? What country would it be. I pick Monnaco! See? I always wanted to wear my crown with a bikini! Donna, you're not listening to me! This is my life here!
Donna: Oh, sorry, it's just, you know today would have been my parent's anniversary but my mom's gone, my dad's with Joanne and Kasey's out of town. So, it just kinda sucks.
Jackie: You know what you need? A little Jackiemagic. I am going to dedicate my whole day to you.
Donna: Oh you mean like you did last month when I had to hold your corndog and guard the van while you and Kelso did it at the 4-H fair?
Jackie: Wasn't that fun?

Jackie: Okay! I'm here for our slumber party.
Donna: Wow. When you said you were going to dedicate your whole day to me, I figured that meant only until we left the hub.
Jackie: No, i promised you twenty four hours of Jackie time, which is equeal to seven days of an ugly person's time.
Donna: Well, it's just, I'm in the middle of this really good book.
Jackie: Donna, books are for prisoners! Now, I brought tons of activities. First, some make up, for your long, overdue facial overhaul. The greatest boardgame ever, Mystery date! And best of all, my stuffed animals so we could perform an all unicorn rendition of Grease!

Jackie: Okay, Donna, it's make over time! Let's pack those jumbo pores!
Donna: You know what? I've thought about it, and I'm glad my mother left. More food for me.
Jackie: Oh, come on! It'll be fun!
Donna: I doubt it.

Jackie: You were right, Donna. Now, not only are we beautifying, but we're groovifying! Hey! I just made up a word!
Donna: Yeah, whoever said you can't do two great things at once? I bet it was a one-armed, pessimistic guy.

Donna: You know, Jackie, I never thought I'd say this but I'm actually having a good time.
Jackie: Michael, what are you doing here?
Leo: This is girl's night!

Jackie: No, no, Micheal, I am spending time with Donna!
Kelso: Okay, but I was gonna take you to the mall and tell everyone you were a Dallas cowboy cheerleader.
Jackie:You never want to do that! Let's go!

Jackie:What a bad friend!
Donna: Jackie, you left too.
Jackie:I know, I know, look that's why I'm here. I was at hte mall signing autographs to a bunch of sixth graders, you know, 'Go Cowboys, love Jackie'. And then, I saw this little girl crying cause she couldn't find her mom, and she reminded me of you, so I felt bad.
Donna: Jackie, that's so sweet. So what happened to the little girl, did she find her mom?
Jackie:I left her with the snow cone guy. Yeah, she smelled like poo. Look, anyways, my point is, you kow, since you don't have your mom anymore, you need a girl in your life to look after you, and that's going to be me.
Donna: Unless I smell like poo.
Jackie: Right.

Eric's Corvette Caper

Jackie: Well, we know he suscribes to 'Van Aficianado'!
Donna: Stop snooping, Jackie.
Jackie: But, Donna, you know, say this pile of stuff was to get accidently knocked over -"Oh no!", and while picking it up you just happen to look through it.
Donna: Jackie, I'm not gonna snoop.
Jackie: Oh, look! He took a quiz, 'Your ideal chick: Van Fan, or biker liker'? But you know what? You wouldn't care what kinda girl he likes. After all, you're only dating him.
Donna: Knocks over books. Oh no!

Donna: Well, we spent three hours in Kasey's room, and all we found out was that he collects mudflaps.
Jackie: Yeah, but all that snooping gave me such a rush. Hey! Let's go the mall and shoplift some lip glass.
Donna: No, thanks, Little Felon. I feel guilty enough. Besides, I have to finish my chemistry homework. OH NO! I left my chemistry book on Kasey's desk and he comes back tomorrow!
Jackie: So, we'll just go back and get it.
Donna: Jackie, I already went over there all, 'Where's Kasey'? Now, if I go back all - 'Where's my book'?!
Jackie: But you are all 'Where's my book'?!
Donna: But Kelso won't believe that, and then he'll think I'm a goob, and then he'll tell Kasey that I'm a goob!
Jackie: Okay! Okay, look, we'll wait until later tonight, and just sneak back in and get it. Besides, Kasey's got this really great clock radio that I want.

Donna: Okay, I got it?
Kelso: Jackie? Donna? Am I dreaming?
Donna: Yes, yes you are!
Kelso: Are we gonna do it?
Jackie: Yes. Yes, Micheal, we are.
Cool. Donna first.

Eric's False Alarm

Jackie: So, what are you and Kasey doing tonight?
Donna: He won't tell me. It's a surprise.
Jackie: Oh, honey, it's blush. Not spraypaint.

Jackie: A surprise, huh? What if the surprise is something big? Are you ready for it? I mean, how do you really feel about Kasey?
Donna: I don't know.
Jackie: Well, how do you feel about his hair?
Donna: Love it, lots of body.
Jackie: And his body?
Donna: Love it, lots of hair.
Jackie: How about his car?
Donna: I love it, Trans Ams kick ass!
Jackie: So hair, body, and car, the big three, the holy trinity of love. Okay, I think you're ready for your big surprise.
Donna: Jackie, what is this big surprise.
Jackie: All I can tell you is, definately, DEFINITELY, shave those legs.